What Do I Bring To the Table

"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what can you do for your country." John F Kennedy

This same philosophy John F Kennedy posed to the country applies to relationships.

It seems people frequently can clearly articulate what they want in a partner. They may have a list of physical characteristics or desirable personality traits, material possessions/status, etc. However, what if we focused more on what we bring to a relationship rather than what we think we need or deserve. That is, how are we a positive, supportive addition to another person's life. 

I think it would be interesting to see how the dynamics of any relationship might change if both parties started focusing on what they could do for the other rather than what they were going to receive. 

Challenge

Often when I am working with individuals struggling with self esteem, they struggle to find their positives. I will suggest they find five qualities they like about themself and put these qualities on sticky notes on their bathroom mirror. Initially, they will have a difficult time coming up with five items. I suspect this might be the same for trying to determine what you bring to a relationship. In reality, there is probably overlap with the self esteem list and the relationship contributions list.

However, when I begin to explore various aspects of an individual's life with them, the positive qualities they possess become apparent; even to them. The great thing about identifying our positive qualities is we can then build on them.

Action

1. Consider how you contribute to your family: parents, siblings, extended family.
2. Consider your friendships and how you support, listen to or help friends.
3. Consider what kind of co-worker you are: how you contribute, team player, etc. 
4. Now make a list of qualities or write a paragraph or two about what you bring  to a relationship.